Disclaimer:This is a parody. It does not agree to offend nobody or violate nobody’s privacy.
Perhaps like no other member of its species Bob has been able to attract on itself so many attentions from gentle sex,safeguarding with intelligence its life and its private business.
For this one -and another hundreds of motivations- Bob deserves a serious and scrupulous analysis that explains the reasons which are behind (or perhaps is better to say “within”) a such big success.This guide -created from the requirement to furnish a complete and truthfully portrait on its existence- represents therefore the absolute and definitive truth about Bob -who have personally contributed to realize it- giving me several details and memories of its intimate life.
Warning :the original Bob’s comments were *obviously* in italics…I hope I was able to render them understandable and funny despite the translation. Anyway, I should suggest you to learn Italian,ddwatchers, because it’s a beautiful language :-P
BOB’S LIFE AND WORKS
Bob was born on the sunny morning of 7 August in 1960 in New York (if you wanna know, it is of the Lion, ascending Aquarius), and it immediately seemed to all present a creature much equipping.Someone says the first father’s comment was been: “Oh my god…ouh… Well, it’s all its father!” and another says the mother has replied: “Well, *much* better than its father…”. Few time later its parents got a divorce.
The name Bob wasn’t selected at random. In fact this one won on Jim, Dick and John above all for its spiritual meaning.
It seems that “Bob” comes from an ancient language of disowned people*, whose translation sounds like: “Geez! We never had looked a similar creature before, how we had been able to living without it until this moment… lucky person who f*** it!”
Disowned people, but much loquacious.
Bob passed an happy childhood and grew up without particular traumas, beginning to develop -since the puberty- that wild and independent spirit which it has got still today.
Bob itself told me that when it was a teenager it didn’t have a great social life and it preferred to stay calm looking after its business, dedicating sometimes to hand job… “if you want a thing done well, do it yourself” as it said me.These activities slipped in second step when it began to attend the advanced schools: there it finally understood there were more interesting hobbies with which engage the scholastic extra hours.
Bob is a dynamic type and since it was young it practiced many sports, always with optimal results. But, as it said, the activities in which it always succeeded to express itself at the best remained the swim and the basket, even if it didn’t scorn baseball and jogging (and no way… it didn’t ever try the jump with the auction, if you’re asking to yourself now).
However, remain mythical the photos that immortalize it while, with its healthy holder* (a.k.a David Duchovny),exits from the swimming pool wearing a beautiful red speedo.
Returning to its youth, Bob worked hard and its studies proceeded straight ahead: it was an optimal element so it doesn’t astonish therefore that it has been graduated quite at Princeton.
Before becoming the "PhD Bob" it decided to abandon the doctorate at Yale, choosing to give a significant turn to own life.
It decided to become an actor by chance (sure, fine, whatever…Who believe yet the story of “I accompanied my friend to a selection, a talent scout noticed me and I began famous”??? If you are one of them, you have to know something that your parents never told you:Santa Claus doesn’t exist).
But Bob attracted really attention on itself.Thanks to the charming presence of David, its best friend (they know each other practically from they were born), obtained little parts in some movies like “Working girl”(1988) and “Twin Peaks” (1990)
And at this point it’s necessary specify a note, at the request of Bob, in order to clarify one of the more difficult and dark point of its career....
continues...
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