David Duchovny's resources

before...

You can find it everywhere…in the supermarket, in the postal office, in the bank…but I’m sure you don’t know the real origin of this object. You could tell me: “It doesn’t need a genius to understand that -a take a number system- is made to avoid queue!” you’re right man…but you don’t know for *what* kind of queue it was created at the beginning.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful actor,named David Duchovny, who has played a role so much intriguing and hot that he began to have serious problems to live a normal life: he didn’t have no more privacy and whenever he went out his house he was attacked by every kind of human being who lived near his home…and Malibu…and California…and West coast (except “males concerned”, but this is another story I’ll tell you another day…) who wanted dating him.

Mr. Duchovny was nearly gone crazy, so to safe his life and mental health too, he decided to contrive a plan with which solve this weird situation. He built a portable “take a number system” and began to distributed tickets to everyone asked him a date, saying to stay calm and peaceful as long as the queue would arrive to that number. Then he hung a display on his shoulders so everyone could check when it’ll arrive own turn. And happily ever after.
This is a story of a man who is above all a mastermind: he wakes up everyday thinking “What’s the date today?” but instead of despair he still goes on and accepts yet new admirers.
Then if you are really interested in this I advise you to go to Malibu in great haste and pull back your ticket before the roll ends.

after...

Daily mood: ill

All About Bob -Part III

Anyway… to see (sure, fine, whatever …maybe “see”…it’s a *little* bit exaggerate word in this show!) our heroes falling in love, the fans waited for seven long years…s-e-v-e-n- years…oh man…Jack Daniel’s took less time to became a whiskey… while it was used to scream to the miracle of Saint CC when one of them gave a kiss in forehead or touched a hand one another, so you could figure the happiness of Bob!
“I have to confess: I was thinking I wasted my time…I never saw me on the screen!! Chris sometimes used me in a few scenes, but I didn’t explain *why* then he always cut those on editing. In the long run I’ve accepted this situation and this hard role between the slot…ahem…agents […]anything but Cospiration and Consortium ….I’m the only one and the real hidden member of this series!”
He has been an actor with little striking and unfortunately we sometimes had a glimpse, but from the affective point of view Bob had not a difficult time in those years: “Much things in that period amused me and I had many dates too, but for respect towards my fans, who are so much sensitive on this argument, I prefer say: no comment...”
Its healthy holder, who doesn’t seem to possess equally Bob’s common sense, instead revealed all his conquests and so he being labelled like “sex addict”. He has dryly refuted, saying that news was a true joke and Bob was more adapted to answer at this kind of questions, but ours idol answered with a diplomat: “I would not save his ass anymore...”
But a tragedy waited silent for ours loved Bob.
In 1997 its life always changed when, probably infected from dangerous ‘Tea-ine’, its healthy holder decided to became serious and married Tea Leoni who after a while convinced him to move the XF production from Vancouver to L.A.
In that period Bob entered in the tunnel of depression: “my healthy holder didn’t have intention to listen to me. I’m not born for the monogamy… I was desperate! At the beginning I didn’t know what I’ll do… so I tried all the possibilities: they thought I was sick because I’ve made feint to take to me the anticipated holiday, but the bastards decided to revive me against my will used the blue pill”.
Today Bob continues to survive than live, attending with hope the day in which its healthy holder will recove from the bad influence of ‘Tea-ine’.
While, because it is a star system’s member, it tries to distract itself through photographic services, interviews, the personal column “Say it to Bob”, a fan club and its direct line with the more faithful admirers.
Even if it’s must difficult to suffer this familiar situation, Bob remains a hard type and it hold on to the adversities, because as it said to me one time: “In spite of everything, maybe there’s a hope...”

daily mood:relaxed

All About Bob -Part II

At this point of the story it’s necessary a digression - on Bob’s request- to clarify one of the most difficult and dark point of its career.
The director David Lynch had offered them the role of detective Denise…but they had to became a trans. Bob immediately refused it, but David - who would accepted everything in order to appear some minute on the screen …uhm…how can I explain to you? Uhm...like performing in a film where the protagonist is a dog (ehy! Here they say he really made it!)- imposed his will on our hero, which sounded it like a true humiliation.
Bob and its hurt pride didn’t ever digest that insult: “I was bended against my will! No one frame was about me because I was covered by a weird tailleur which transformed me and my healthy holder like a Dennis Rodman with heels […] a very dishonour”. But Bob showed its big…charisma and decided to leave the sign in “Twin Peaks”.
How? Did you remember the end of this show? They finally discovered the identity of that evil spirit which caused the death of Laura Palmer and so many strange things in that country inhabited by losers/mad/liars/unkind/freaks- ( in short: aplaceinwhichyousurelywouldbringupyourkids) The TRUE PROTAGONIST, finally!
And what was his name? Yes yes, just Bob!!!
“When I commit myself to doing something” – as Bob confesses me- “I have an extraordinary power to persuade everyone. I don’t explain how I am successful in this. Sometimes it’s enough I raise the head just for a moment and people begin to listen to me”

It is believed, therefore, that this exchange of spite and pique marked the beginning of a crisis that has gone growing between Bob and DD through the years.
1992 was however a year full of engagements for Bob. It and its healthy holder appeared in several movies like “Chaplin” “Beethoven” (masterpieces, uhu?), “Red Shoes Diaries” and “Kalifornia”, all exhibitions with which they become famous.
In 1993, convincing DD to take part in a new tv show, Bob didn't still know it has determined the destiny of both.
In spite of the tie with little pigs or -as legend says- just thanks to *that* tie, its healthy holder succeeded to obtain the part of the protagonist in the pilot of the “X files”, devised from a masochist surfer called CC.The pilot was a very success so they begin to shot the first season.
But Bob understood too much late (and unfortunately to its expenses) to have made a choice not just happy for its dreams.
From *that* point of view, “X files” has been revealed a tv series whose protagonists (she a Siberian cloister Sister and he a crazy beefcake escaped from "the lunatic & tranvestites agents of FBI" asylum ) had the times of the courtship of the sloths.



to be continued...



mood:busy

All about Bob

The last one and complete official guide to the discovery of Bob

Disclaimer:This is a parody. It does not agree to offend nobody or violate nobody’s privacy.


Introduction
Perhaps like no other member of its species Bob has been able to attract on itself so many attentions from gentle sex,safeguarding with intelligence its life and its private business.
For this one -and another hundreds of motivations- Bob deserves a serious and scrupulous analysis that explains the reasons which are behind (or perhaps is better to say “within”) a such big success.This guide -created from the requirement to furnish a complete and truthfully portrait on its existence- represents therefore the absolute and definitive truth about Bob -who have personally contributed to realize it- giving me several details and memories of its intimate life.
Warning :the original Bob’s comments were *obviously* in italics…I hope I was able to render them understandable and funny despite the translation. Anyway, I should suggest you to learn Italian,ddwatchers, because it’s a beautiful language :-P



-------------- PART I --------------
BOB’S LIFE AND WORKS
Bob was born on the sunny morning of 7 August in 1960 in New York (if you wanna know, it is of the Lion, ascending Aquarius), and it immediately seemed to all present a creature much equipping.Someone says the first father’s comment was been: “Oh my god…ouh… Well, it’s all its father!” and another says the mother has replied: “Well, *much* better than its father…”. Few time later its parents got a divorce.
The name Bob wasn’t selected at random. In fact this one won on Jim, Dick and John above all for its spiritual meaning.
It seems that “Bob” comes from an ancient language of disowned people*, whose translation sounds like: “Geez! We never had looked a similar creature before, how we had been able to living without it until this moment… lucky person who f*** it!”
Disowned people, but much loquacious.
Bob passed an happy childhood and grew up without particular traumas, beginning to develop -since the puberty- that wild and independent spirit which it has got still today.
Bob itself told me that when it was a teenager it didn’t have a great social life and it preferred to stay calm looking after its business, dedicating sometimes to hand job… “if you want a thing done well, do it yourself” as it said me.These activities slipped in second step when it began to attend the advanced schools: there it finally understood there were more interesting hobbies with which engage the scholastic extra hours.
Bob is a dynamic type and since it was young it practiced many sports, always with optimal results. But, as it said, the activities in which it always succeeded to express itself at the best remained the swim and the basket, even if it didn’t scorn baseball and jogging (and no way… it didn’t ever try the jump with the auction, if you’re asking to yourself now).
However, remain mythical the photos that immortalize it while, with its healthy holder* (a.k.a David Duchovny),exits from the swimming pool wearing a beautiful red speedo.
Returning to its youth, Bob worked hard and its studies proceeded straight ahead: it was an optimal element so it doesn’t astonish therefore that it has been graduated quite at Princeton.
Before becoming the "PhD Bob" it decided to abandon the doctorate at Yale, choosing to give a significant turn to own life.
It decided to become an actor by chance (sure, fine, whatever…Who believe yet the story of “I accompanied my friend to a selection, a talent scout noticed me and I began famous”??? If you are one of them, you have to know something that your parents never told you:Santa Claus doesn’t exist).
But Bob attracted really attention on itself.Thanks to the charming presence of David, its best friend (they know each other practically from they were born), obtained little parts in some movies like “Working girl”(1988) and “Twin Peaks” (1990)
And at this point it’s necessary specify a note, at the request of Bob, in order to clarify one of the more difficult and dark point of its career....

continues...

The purple rose of L.A. aka Hank’s blog # 42

Author : BirDDer

Disclaimer : all materials are property of Showtime

Rating : blasphemy, nudity

Genre : vignette

---------------------------------

In my life,umm…in my *recent* life in L.A., I saw, made and took things more varied - smashing laws and taboo - but when yesterday morning I have -nearly- lost my identity,I understood God really hates me!

The beds in which I usually wake are a stinking mess of sex and joint,

instead that bed was perfumed and in order.

When I opened – uhu... I tried to open- my sorrow eyes, I saw,opposite the bed, my big face.

It was not a mirror - as soon as my headache allowed me to make little steps- but a photo of mine: my stumble face,a black t-shirt and an apple…

A red apple?

I rubbed my eyes.I was thirsty and dizzy and I wanted only a cigarette.

The room,totally new for me,was dipped in sunshine light.Too much.

Pc was on,on the table near the window,and a screensaver…it was again my face.

An idiot who smiled,in a white jacket...And again,I didn't remember where or when that pic was taked.

Strange enough... that place was full of me: objects,posters,pictures....all was about me.

"WOW" I thought…"Where fuck I finish up?"

"A temple of a middle age ex –writer ???"

My ring,the same ring, was on the bedside table near the tidy bed with the same bracelets too... I istinctively checked my wrist and my left index: all right, old Hank.

*All* my jewels were in their place.

A woman's scream distracted me at the check.The girl under the door seemed scared;for a moment my id was depressed.

Jolting, I have treaded on white panties on the floor, that wild night had to be passed…

-Don't you remember me?-I asked at her, covering me with hands - Are you my yesterday date?Sorry,but I'm hit by amnesia...-

It was true,and her young worried face didn't help me.

-You...you...you...-she was breathless.

-Hey...My head spin around and if you continue to stutter, maybe I'll be able to vomit.And you don't have an expensive painting at the wall for this.-

-Are...Are...Are...-

-Yeah, a loser. You definitely know me,very well.Relax,I'm leaving... as soon as I find my jeans.

I don't want that the other light of my porsche can broken off…-

The unknow girl watched me now with passion, (maybe have I been great last night ?) sitting on her bed, while I collected my dress turn around and I began to cover myself.

-It'll be better that you raises your jaw from the carpet, I could thread something of mine to in…- while I teased her, she continued to fix me.

-Just a question: did you made that with computer graphic?I absolutely don't remember …- and I indicated her my photo on the wall; that one with the red apple.

-Me? It's a Californication promo pic...- she answered with a weak voice.

- "Californication"?What the hell it means ?-

-It's your new tv show…-she said with admirate tone.

Bad thing...I didn't remember nothing about it!Maybe my agent would sold God hates us all's copyrights to the tv?

- I'm the same guy you have lured …Or maybe I have lured you... but where? In a club,on the street... oh,please...don't tell me at the book shop. I don't know anything about 'Ca li fo rni ca tion' thing...- I was not much threatening with nacked ass.

She repeted -This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening.-

She dressed only a gray t-shirt, nacked legs...good legs.She was a blonde,natural blonde,

I checked.

-Are you really David...?-asked me,brutally,recovered her mind,while I recovered my cigarettes on her bedside table, between the lamp and her vibrator.

-Who? You can call me as you want , and I will not take offense myself if you don't remember who fuck ed you last night …Anyway I'm Hank,how are you?- finally I was smoking and full dressed, so I could give her more attention.

-Me? At this moment "I'm hit from amnesia" too and I don't figure out WHY you are here!!

But I know WHO you are: you are the best actor,the awesome man on…-

-Ehy ehy...Stop with this shit.Who motherfucker is 'David'?- I had to be out there. She was nut,or maybe simply drugged, she exchanged me with another guy...she repeated a strange name,totally unknow to me.

-David Duchovny...YOU!-now she was convinced.With a strange light in her eyes,she appeared like a maniac.

I began to have fear.

I pulled up my jeans zip and decided to let go the stuff.

But my narcissism had still a question for her.

-Did you read my novel?-I asked her with my best indifferent (and very fake) look .

-Yale's time?Yes,on web,but your poetry is better...-she seemed herself resumption from the shock to see me here, I had felt myself like an apparition or a vision, this was flattering.

-Poetry? I didn't ever wrote poetries, not even to the times of CBGB. I have written "God hate us all" and the only thing I'm writing now is a blog, a very bad blog...-

She began to laugh out.When she was calmed, she explained to me...or what she thought it could be an explanation for me.

-You are David Duchovny,the actor who plays Hank Moody's character on the tv show titled Californication,and I REALLY don't know why you are here in my bedroom, even if it always has been my forbidden dream: meet you..- and she was blushed,in L.A?

Impossible.

-No,no,no..I'm not!My identity it's the last thing that remains me, after I've lost my family,my will and my talent to write.You make a mistake…And I'm insane remaining here.Thank for…whichever thing we've done.-

Finding the exit, I made only two steps when she caught up to me and kissing me. Her arms were around to my neck.

-You can pretender to be Hank, David ,but for me,you will ever be my love...-she whispered.

Although I thought she was crazy, I must admit I went too much fastly, but at least I exchanged with her an embrace and a kiss,very warmly.

I've gone wishing only a shower to forget another L.A. crazy girl.

Conclusion:I don't understand what happened,as usual.





daily mood: tired

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daily mood:satisfy